I keep trying to shift my focus to holiday shopping, and packing for our short trip to NYC for lots of singing around the piano, but find that I'm still hearing my piece in my head off and on, and dreaming about parts of it, and assimilating the rich experience I had attending rehearsals and then multiple performances of Celebration of the Deep. My head and heart are so full of all that happened I'm finding it hard to write about!
Saturday's performance at the church was glorious, the overall best the piece has sounded; I was so pleased, and my Mom was proud! My two sisters as well - it was grand to have my family come from Oneonta for the event. Working out the kinks Friday night and Saturday during the run-through was the sort of fun challenge and on-the-spot problem-solving that I love. All the musicians were doing all they could to give the music their best, hearing how the acoustics of the church needed to change how they played, assimilating the parts that they had not even heard until that point: percussion!
At the performance my heart was beating so fast through the first two pieces, I guess I was nervous about my piece. When it started I could calm down. That opening french horn line is so soothing! And the way the piece built in tempo and intensity was like a dream come true. I had thought I wanted the tempos to stay more consistent, and yet the way Cayenna directed it and the players performed it, the intensity I wanted seemed to flow naturally from the slight changes she made. The players really went over the top at the climax in a very powerful way, the way she had asked them to - "play with exuberance, but don't lose it", or something like that she advised them. And they did it beautifully, with the Call of the Deep in the brass and one horn, in the midst of all the musical activity, reminding us of home, of returning, of time for rest.
Then last Wednesday night was a performance at the Racker Center, where again instruments were missing - bass and percussion, only two first violins. And yet my piece seemed to hold up well, I was very happy to hear it again, and sat right in front of the french horns. Acoustically a very different space, but the orchestra adjusted well to it.
And there are lots of memories to cherish: Doing the interview with Cayenna down at WSKG, with Bill Snyder to promote the concert, and actually hearing from people who then attended the concert because they heard the interview. Seeing my Mom following the score during the run-through on Saturday, and commenting to me "It's a complex piece". Getting such affirming feedback from the audience members who enjoyed the piece, and helpful suggestions for how to give the piece a further life, beyond Ithaca. Sitting in one of the empty first violin section chairs briefly at the Racker Center and being asked to join the Orchestra (on violin, of course!).
One comment I got was about loving the short bit of french horn / flute doubling towards the end, another was about the french horn / oboe doubling moment. Several comments about how great to hear the french horns up close, and several comments about what I call the "lift-off" moment, how it made some people feel swelled up inside, or they felt the sound going through them and up through the tops of their heads. This is the part that always made my younger sister cry (in a good way).
Such a collaborative effort musical performances are! I am in awe of what another friend called the Miracle of it all. The miracle of composing, and then the miracle of all the musicians putting in all the hard work to know what to do with the printed score (conductor and players alike), and the miracle of all the listeners who lend their attention, their ears, their caring, and openness to being affected.
I'm feeling big gratitude to everyone who participated in this miracle. Thank you.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Thursday, December 09, 2010
performance at Cayuga Ridge nursing home last night
First I've heard the whole program, including Saint-Saens bassoon concerto (orchestrated by Cayenna from sonata for bassoon & piano), lovely Brahms for lower strings & woodwinds, horns, plus tricky Elgar. I still get a kick out of my piece referred to as "the Boel". Like "the Brahms".
My piece suffered a bit from missing players - both the pianist and the contrabass players were absent, though we had 4 horns, and a fuller woodwind section (only missing the second bassoonist). Luckily Cayenna asked Diana Geiger, the assistant conductor to play the bass part on the piano, so the parts with the string accompaniment had the downbeat present. And overall it is coming together well!
Interesting phenomenon (missing parts) that all the players are doing really well with - and I can just hope that this flexibility can continue - there are parts that will be heard only on Saturday - timpani, xylophone, second bassoon, and I trust that hearing them for the first time won't throw anyone off.
Bear and I listened from the back of the woodwinds, almost next to the brass, and it was fun to hear the concert from the "stage" so to speak. Also helped my understanding of what goes on in the woodwind section, and how I might better employ the wonderful sounds, and combinations of tonal qualities in my next pieces. Lovely to be immersed in all the music!
My piece suffered a bit from missing players - both the pianist and the contrabass players were absent, though we had 4 horns, and a fuller woodwind section (only missing the second bassoonist). Luckily Cayenna asked Diana Geiger, the assistant conductor to play the bass part on the piano, so the parts with the string accompaniment had the downbeat present. And overall it is coming together well!
Interesting phenomenon (missing parts) that all the players are doing really well with - and I can just hope that this flexibility can continue - there are parts that will be heard only on Saturday - timpani, xylophone, second bassoon, and I trust that hearing them for the first time won't throw anyone off.
Bear and I listened from the back of the woodwinds, almost next to the brass, and it was fun to hear the concert from the "stage" so to speak. Also helped my understanding of what goes on in the woodwind section, and how I might better employ the wonderful sounds, and combinations of tonal qualities in my next pieces. Lovely to be immersed in all the music!
Friday, November 05, 2010
Second attendance at rehearsal of Celebration of the Deep
The conductor Cayenna led a fun and moving rehearsal of my piece this last Wednesday - for one thing she had the woodwinds sitting in front of the second violins and violas - it was great to hear their parts sounding from ahead of the inner strings. I like how she changes things up in interesting and educational ways. Educational for me, at least!
The ICO started playing from the middle of the piece, what I think of as the climactic full section, and proceeded to the end. When they got to the melody of the deep part that comes in towards the end out of quietness, out of all the commotion that came before, tears came to my eyes! I hope that other listeners will be moved by this piece as well.
In case you wondered, it is hard for me to feel responsible for any of this beauty. Yes I remember writing down lots of stuff, working hard on the score, listening inside for inspiration and correction and making the flow of music true to some sort of inner compass. But the final result? That's not "me". For one thing, it is being brought to life by all these other people playing their instruments, bringing their own intentions and attentions to it and fulfilling Cayenna's direction. So there is big collaboration in the performance. For another thing, the parts that are "inspired" in the composition seem to me to arise from something that is not the "me" who wakes up has breakfast and goes for a walk. And of course, the actual melody of the theme of the Deep I arranged from music by Craig Pruess and Ananda, found on the CD 108 Sacred Names of Mother Divine.
Blessings on all creative avenues of expression, and a big thanks to Cayenna and the Ithaca Community Orchestra for taking on Celebration of the Deep and giving it their best. I really appreciate it! Concert is December 11, at the First Baptist Church in Dewitt Park. http://www.cayennaponchione.com/ICO/index.html
The ICO started playing from the middle of the piece, what I think of as the climactic full section, and proceeded to the end. When they got to the melody of the deep part that comes in towards the end out of quietness, out of all the commotion that came before, tears came to my eyes! I hope that other listeners will be moved by this piece as well.
In case you wondered, it is hard for me to feel responsible for any of this beauty. Yes I remember writing down lots of stuff, working hard on the score, listening inside for inspiration and correction and making the flow of music true to some sort of inner compass. But the final result? That's not "me". For one thing, it is being brought to life by all these other people playing their instruments, bringing their own intentions and attentions to it and fulfilling Cayenna's direction. So there is big collaboration in the performance. For another thing, the parts that are "inspired" in the composition seem to me to arise from something that is not the "me" who wakes up has breakfast and goes for a walk. And of course, the actual melody of the theme of the Deep I arranged from music by Craig Pruess and Ananda, found on the CD 108 Sacred Names of Mother Divine.
Blessings on all creative avenues of expression, and a big thanks to Cayenna and the Ithaca Community Orchestra for taking on Celebration of the Deep and giving it their best. I really appreciate it! Concert is December 11, at the First Baptist Church in Dewitt Park. http://www.cayennaponchione.com/ICO/index.html
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Lead-up to first rehearsal...
Apparently I am going in reverse now, from most recent to less recent...
So I can see that I also neglected to write about the lengthy process of preparing parts for Celebration of the Deep - yikes! Proof-reading the notes and markings, and then trying to put little musical cues into the parts, so that each instrument might have some idea at the end of a long rest, just where their entrance was supposed to fit into what else is going on...
Maybe I get too wound up about this part because of coming from two backgrounds: 1) as a singer, it is typical to see all the other parts (in choral music) plus piano accompaniment, and as a violinist, in orchestra we play often ALL the time, so there are NO rests! No doubt the other instruments get used to counting. I know I watched a percussionist doing a two-handed counting scheme that made me think of an abacus when he had a VERY LONG break before his next entrance. Good idea.
As a performer in my string group Water Bear I noticed that in the repetitions of the basic form we usually played (AABB most often), I could reliably get lost in the music/playing of the moment and not know how many times we had played the form; this is a problem if we had agreed, for example, to do something special for the third time around. We gave each other the "hairy eyeball" when this lapse in memory would occur, or when we had THOUGHT it had occurred. Yes, I was not the only player in Water Bear that this happened to. Without a video/audio of the piece to consult later, it would prove impossible to determine just what had, in fact, happened. The way we played was so improvisatory anyhow, and the musicianship level high enough that I don't think anyone noticed. Did you, ever?
So I can see that I also neglected to write about the lengthy process of preparing parts for Celebration of the Deep - yikes! Proof-reading the notes and markings, and then trying to put little musical cues into the parts, so that each instrument might have some idea at the end of a long rest, just where their entrance was supposed to fit into what else is going on...
Maybe I get too wound up about this part because of coming from two backgrounds: 1) as a singer, it is typical to see all the other parts (in choral music) plus piano accompaniment, and as a violinist, in orchestra we play often ALL the time, so there are NO rests! No doubt the other instruments get used to counting. I know I watched a percussionist doing a two-handed counting scheme that made me think of an abacus when he had a VERY LONG break before his next entrance. Good idea.
As a performer in my string group Water Bear I noticed that in the repetitions of the basic form we usually played (AABB most often), I could reliably get lost in the music/playing of the moment and not know how many times we had played the form; this is a problem if we had agreed, for example, to do something special for the third time around. We gave each other the "hairy eyeball" when this lapse in memory would occur, or when we had THOUGHT it had occurred. Yes, I was not the only player in Water Bear that this happened to. Without a video/audio of the piece to consult later, it would prove impossible to determine just what had, in fact, happened. The way we played was so improvisatory anyhow, and the musicianship level high enough that I don't think anyone noticed. Did you, ever?
Monday, October 25, 2010
Heard The Deep played!
Well it was an exciting evening, a couple of weeks ago - I attended an early rehearsal of the orchestra and heard them play through my piece... I enjoyed hearing the live instruments SO much! Plus, finding out that the beginning motif in the strings that I was worried about - it sounds fine! Although I guess the urge is to make tremolo sound sinister instead of playful waves, but it seems to WORK, and that is the main point.
The horns were all together for the first time playing my piece, and again they sounded good. Cayenna is having them move to the front of the orchestra like soloists do who are featured, which I hadn't imagined for some reason... maybe I think the instrument is not easy to carry so we shouldn't make them move. But is is great to be able to see AND hear them play.
Not all parts were represented, I'm not sure when the full personnel will be able to attend rehearsal - and I was musing how it must be tricky to be playing the piece, having no idea how it will all sound when the string bass, trumpets and trombone are missing, not to mention the xylophone/marimba, the timpani, and who knows what else. The balance is off, as is natural! So that's a good sign. If it sounded perfectly balanced now, I would need to worry! :)
The horns were all together for the first time playing my piece, and again they sounded good. Cayenna is having them move to the front of the orchestra like soloists do who are featured, which I hadn't imagined for some reason... maybe I think the instrument is not easy to carry so we shouldn't make them move. But is is great to be able to see AND hear them play.
Not all parts were represented, I'm not sure when the full personnel will be able to attend rehearsal - and I was musing how it must be tricky to be playing the piece, having no idea how it will all sound when the string bass, trumpets and trombone are missing, not to mention the xylophone/marimba, the timpani, and who knows what else. The balance is off, as is natural! So that's a good sign. If it sounded perfectly balanced now, I would need to worry! :)
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Heal Yourself!
Okay, so I actually mean "Heal Myself", but in case you're wondering, this is what I've been working on this summer... my family doctor believes I have fibromyalgia, and I've had constant headaches for years now. I'm trying many different approaches, including eating a nutrient-rich diet (Dr. Fuhrman), thyroid hormone replacement (which seemed to help but then made me feel worse even though the tests were still in the "normal" range), and probably most important: going gluten-free two years ago. Exercise also helps, especially in water.
The latest idea I'm trying is to deal more directly with my back-of-head pain, by pursuing bodywork (the always wonderful and nurturing Sondra Hartman) and C1-C2 adjustments to encourage re-alignment of the top of my spinal column... this is as well as growing muscles between my shoulder blades (mid-trapezius, lats) so that I use my arms with solid backing. :)
Yes overall I am feeling improvements! But I'm writing this up here to encourage myself to keep trying new things, and don't give up hope that improvements can occur. There are good days, when I am able to compose, do some financial tax work, cook meals and feel happy. The bad days are ... bad. But usually mostly from suffering I cause myself by worrying that I'll never have a good day again. Why is that? Luckily Bear helps alot on those days... I'm fortunate to have him, music, my Mom and sisters, and my housemate Cha in my life!
The latest idea I'm trying is to deal more directly with my back-of-head pain, by pursuing bodywork (the always wonderful and nurturing Sondra Hartman) and C1-C2 adjustments to encourage re-alignment of the top of my spinal column... this is as well as growing muscles between my shoulder blades (mid-trapezius, lats) so that I use my arms with solid backing. :)
Yes overall I am feeling improvements! But I'm writing this up here to encourage myself to keep trying new things, and don't give up hope that improvements can occur. There are good days, when I am able to compose, do some financial tax work, cook meals and feel happy. The bad days are ... bad. But usually mostly from suffering I cause myself by worrying that I'll never have a good day again. Why is that? Luckily Bear helps alot on those days... I'm fortunate to have him, music, my Mom and sisters, and my housemate Cha in my life!
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